Embracing Limits
Achievement has always mattered to me. I’m not sure why. My first memory of achievement was the many awards I won on the swim team. I clung to the validation and sense of accomplishment.
My quest for achievement has served me well. I’ve been well-liked, trusted, valued among friends and colleagues. I am entrusted with trying out new projects, responsibilities and take on leadership roles in my work.
But now that my life is full, I realize that I wish I’d done more to embrace my limits and focus on myself. I don’t often know what my limits are until I’ve surpassed them and am overextended.
Just as I haven’t always known my wants, I remember going to a store with my mom to complete my wedding registry. We approached a wall of dishes towering up the box store ceiling. I looked to her, clearly overwhelmed, and asked what she thought. I had no inclination or preference at all. I ended up with a lovely set of dishes that were not at all to my taste.
Ten years later, I am much clearer about my wants for my personal life and career, which opens me to learn my limits.
I’m learning that I can’t maintain daily contact with most of the people in my life. I’m learning that I can’t fix every problem I see and that no matter how far my compassion stretches, I have a limit to the time I can extend to others.
It is especially hard in this covid world to narrow my community further. While I fully know the bustle of life will still be there after I’ve acclimated to the latest transitions of my life or the break I need, I still feel as though I need permission to embrace my limits. I would tell any of the friends to take the break you need. But for some reason, I have a tough time taking my advice. I want to be the exception to the rules.
In embracing my limits, I’m finding freedom I’ve not known—an ability to focus and spend time identifying areas of genuine interest. I am enjoying opportunities to be fully present in my personal life. I am just as busy, and I am infinitely more fulfilled.
Perhaps this oddball of a year is an invitation to slow down and reset in life and career. The usual momentum of life's pace isn’t carrying us forward, which makes now a prime time to stop and take stock. What would it look like to imagine what ignites focus and passion? How would a personally and professionally fulfilling life look? Feel like? Even little progress toward a valid path, goal, or desire is a step in the right direction.